Don't Go Away
by kiba kai
Summary: Heero knows how hard to live with hidden feeling for Duo, but it's harder for telling it to him.. (Shounen Ai, 1+2)


Don't Go Away

Disclaimer : I don't own them, no... thanks Sunrise, and for the song 'Don't Go Away' from OASIS by Noel Gallagher don't sue me coz I have nothing you want, just my oldie computer and my sick brain..   
Pairing : 1+2   
Catagory : songfic, angst   
Warning : Shounen ai   
Explanation : lyrics is in //--//, thinking in '--', conversation in "--" 

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-Don't go Away-   
By Kai   
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"Duo, we have a mission." Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier said in his steadiest voice to his partner, Duo Maxwell, who was still drowsy. It was 5 A.M. 

"Again? God damn it! Those professors think we're slaves or something?! Last night wasn't enough?!" Duo mentioned last night's mission of destroying OZ's base. The mission was accomplished but Heero's right leg was broken. 

"What kind of mission anyway?" He finally calmed down and became fully alert by the look the Wing pilot sent him telling him, we-are-soldiers-you-idiot! 

"Rescue the hostage." 

"Hostage? We've never gotten this kind of mission from the professors before." 

"Not from them." 

"Then who?" Duo began to get frustrated again with his partner's cryptic answers. 

"Trowa and Quatre.." Heero could tell from Duo's expression that his actions were unusual. He never usually lets Duo ask details about his fragmented answers like this. He tried to cover it up and continued impassively, "Wufei was captured last night during his sub-mission with us, and Trowa with Quatre. Heavy-ARMS and Sandrock were severely damaged too." 

"All right, I'll get him outta there. You stay here, Heero." 

"But you shouldn't do this alone.." His sentence was interrupted by Duo's waving hand. 

"You broke your leg, remember? I owe you for that, now I'll pay you back. You know that I'm good with sneak-in missions." 

Heero wanted to resist but he was aware that his words might show too much concern for his partner. 'It's better be quiet.' He thought to himself. 

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Next Morning 

Heero woke up chilled in a soundless bedroom, no sound from a braided pilot that usually sang out loud in the living room, no beeps from the computer indicating another mission, not even chirps from the birds outside his windows because it was now winter and snow wassteadily falling down from the sunless sky. 

In this house that he shared with Duo after they were teamed up by the professors, Trowa with Quatre, and Wufei alone, they were ordered to split up and settle in the triangle with one of OZ's base in the center. It would be easier to attack from all directions with such a huge base. Did the professors have any idea of how hard it was for him to work with Duo? It has become a big problem for him since that one night when Duo came back from a mission badly injured. He would have never known how much he cared for the braided baka until he had almost lost him... 

//A cold and frosty morning that not a lot to say about the things 

caught in my mind// 

'What about Duo?' was the first thing that popped up in his mind, and he got up too fast before remembering that his right leg was broken. He bit his lower lip from the pain when he put weight on his broken leg. He reached out for walking stick that Duo recommended that he use even if it wasn't necessary for the perfect soldier. Heero laughed bitterly at Duo's words, 'perfect soldier'. If he really is the perfect soldier, he wouldn't be tormented, from his leg and his mind. 

//And now the day was dawning my plane was flew away with all the 

things caught in my mind// 

He stared out of the window, at the fallen snow that covered all the green fields of the spring. He softly sighed to himself when he thought about the mission 2 nights ago, 'Why I did that?' There was a heavy snowstorm that night. The snowstorm was good for covering their tracks when it came time to attack and to escape, but it was not good at all for the pilot themselves. It was a problem. They were aiming their rifle at the enemy's head control room. Their Mobile Suit Indicators were out of control, so Duo didn't notice 

the enemy's Mobile Suit to his right. But thanks to Heero, he spotted it just as it was aiming its rifle at Duo. He knew that all he should do was tell Duo to turn right. He was supposed to shoot the control room first because his rifle was fully charged and he must launch at log on target immediately and Duo's wasn't ready yet. He didn't know why he let go of his target and rushed between Duo and the Mobile Suit's rifle. Wing was shot. The strike was powerful enough to crush some of hisinner organs and break his leg. Why? Was it because he didn't want to see it again.. The sight of an unconscious bleeding Duo in his arms.. 

//I don't wanna be there when you're coming down 

I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground// 

When Duo realized what happened, he felt very guilty. If only he had seen it before the Mobile Suit pulled its trigger. In the name of Death, he would have blown up the damn thing easily. After he finished what he set out to do, he turned back to Wing. There was no response. He got out of Deathscythe and opened Wing's broken cockpit manually, his heart almost broke.. HeeroYuy, the perfect soldier, was lying on his broken chair. It looked like he coughed up blood but due to centrifugal force, the blood was everywhere. The sight was horrible.. 

Even though he called himself Death, but at that moment, he prayed to every God that existed, 'Don't let him die, please, no, Heero, please stay with me..' 

//So don't go away, say what you say 

But say that you'll stay, 

Forever and a day in the time of my life 

Cos I need more time, yes I need more time 

Just to make things right// 

Heero was brought out of his thoughts with the sound of front door opening, followed by the sound of someone stumbling. 'Is that Duo? But this is too soon. He'd just left last night.' He thought, but before than he could get up from the bed, Duo barged into the room. 

"Oh, He..ero, you're..re. a..a.wake." He said with a voice trembling from the cold with his arms wrapped around his chest, His black priest-like suit was totally soaked. Heero asked "Didn't you bring your coat?" 

"I.. di..id, b..ut..I..I..len.t..it..tooo..Wu..fe..i" After he finished his sentence, he ran to his room and changed into jeans and a thick sweater. Heero walked slowly with the walking stick to the living room. Wufei was in Duo's wet coat, lying on sofa, sleeping but still shaking, Duo brought out the warmest blanket in the house. As Duo changed Wufei's clothing, Heero heated up the room by adding a log in the fireplace. 

"What happened? You came back so early." Heero asked. He was just relieved that Duo came back safe and sound. 

"I went halfway to the base, I found Wufei lying on the ground, almost covered with snow, he manage to escape himself but I have no idea how he made it that far without a coat. It is fortunate that he has black hair, it is easy to see in the snow." He said half-jokingly but hiding his hurt feelings from Heero's question. It sounded like he was disappointed that he was back so early. 

"Good" was all that he can say. Even though he really wanted to tell Duo how delighted he was now, he didn't know how to go about it. 

"Did you have breakfast yet?" Duo asked, only wanting to find something to talk about. Since being quiet would arouse Heero's suspicion. 

"Not yet, I just got up." He felt uneasy with the look in Duo's eyes. Yes, he talks a lot but he's not good at hiding his feelings from his face. 

//Damn my situation in the game I have to play with all the things 

caught in my mind// 

Duo went to the kitchen, trying to fix himself some breakfast. He opened the fridge to get some materials. When he turned around to the table, he felt the house spinning and was about to pass out. Heero, who clumsily followed him, grabbed him just in time but because of his leg, they both fell to the floor. 

Duo found himself sitting in Heero's lap, face to face. He couldn't seem to control his body, he couldn't stand up nor raise his head to apologize. Furthermore, his mind ordered him to linger in this position. He brought his left hand to Heero's right shoulder and rested his head on the other. 

Heero is stunned by the closure between them. He just realized that he had never gotten real body contact with Duo. Sometimes on the mission, they had to stay close to each other. Sometimes off mission, Duo used to tease him with the end of his braid but not this close. Not like this so that he can feel Duo's hot breath and cold forehead on his shoulder. He began to blush. He didn't know what came over him. Why didn't he want Duo to pull away? Instead, he really wanted to undo his braid and caress that silky chestnut 

hair. But he had to get up now. He knew that if he let his feelings prolong the moment, he'll never get a chance to get up ever again.. 

//Damn my education I can't find the words to say 

About the things caught in my mind// 

"Duo, get up now!" he said with the most serious voice that Duo ever heard he use while turning his head in the opposite direction of Duo's face. Both of his hands pushed at a trembling shoulder to make the gap between them. 

"Heero.." Duo was almost shocked when he heard those words. He didn't understand if he had done something wrong. He didn't get up earlier partly because he almost fainted. 

"I said now! Duo!" Heero repeated his words, but now he turned his face to Duo's. All he could see were weary eyes filled with tears. A crystal teardrop fell down along his cheek. 

"I'm, I'm sorry Heero.." Then he gathered up all his strength to get up and run across the living room to his bedroom. 

//I don't wanna be there when you're coming down 

I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground// 

Heero heard the door shut. 'What did I just do?! God. Why me? Why don't I even know how to express my own feelings? What am I afraid of? Because I'm a soldier? A soldier isn't supposed to have feelings? Then where are these feelings coming from?..' He drown in his thoughts as he painfully walked to his room. He didn't use the walking stick anymore. 

He slowly entered his room. All he wanted to do now was cry. He must cry. But when he pass the large mirror in his room, he saw only an unfeeling face looking back at him. He couldn't take it anymore. He bit his lip hard and felt the crimson track creeping from it. It mirrored on the boy in the mirror.. His mind was torn apart. He shouted hoarsely with his sorrow to his own reflection, "Who are You?.. Goddamn it!" He grabbed the gun that was still unloaded on the nightstand and threw it with all his strength at the mirror. It shattered into a thousand pieces.. He looked down on it as if it was his own heart.. His only reliable leg was too weak to support him at this 

moment and he sank down on his knees with his head in his hands, feeling very lost.. 

"I'm sorry, Duo, I'm sorry.. Will you forgive me, Duo?" 

//So don't go away, say what you say 

But say that you'll stay, 

Forever and day in the time of my life 

Cos I need more time, yes I need more time 

Just to make things right// 

Duo had his head buried in his pillow that was soak with his tears when he heard something shatter, 'Was that Heero? He may have stumbled on something. Him? You still worry about him? He hurt you so badly.. But if he is bleeding..' His mind jumped to the conclusion that he must at least go check things out. He could always say that he was worried about Wufei(*) 

Finally, he exited his room and looked around. Wufei was still asleep on the sofa, curling up in the blanket. Nothing appeared to be wrong. In the kitchen, Heero's walking stick was still lying on the ground since he left, but Heero was not there. 'In his room? Should I knock? How can I face him?' But he was far more worried about Heero than in maintaining his pride. He opened Heero's door without knocking... 

//Me and you what's going on or we seems to know is how to show the 

feeling that I wrote// 

From his position, Duo could see everything clearly. Shattered pieces of the mirror were all over the place. Heero was down on his knees, head down, squeezing his arms, and his whole body was quivering. 

"God, Heero what happened?" He rushed to Heero's side without paying any heed to the broken mirror pieces. 

Caught unawares at Duo's presence, he raised his head, his eyes and mouth hanging open. Then the feeling that he never could reach filled him. The feeling that caused warm water to gather in his eyes and fall.. 

"Heero.." Duo couldn't believe his eyes. What in the world could make him cry like this? "Heero, why you.." Heero didn't wait for Duo to finish whatever he wanted to say. He reached out for him, and closed the distance between them with his embrace. He held Duo tightly as if it was the last time he could do so in his life.. 

//So don't go away, say what you say 

But say that you'll stay, 

Forever and a day in the time of my life 

Cos I need more time, yes I need more time 

Just to make things right// 

"I'm sorry Duo. Forgive me. I didn't mean to drive you away. I just, I just don't know what to do.." 

Duo began to understand what was causing Heero to suffer. "It's alright Heero, I forgive you." He said as he brought one of his hands to hold Heero and the other to gently stroke the hair at the back of his head. "I know this is hard for you." 

"Duo.." 

//Yes I need more time just to make things right// 

"From now on, when you are happy, just smile. When you feel sad, just cry. But if you just can't do it, just look at me Heero. Look at me and I'll understand. I know I will.." 

"Duo.. thank you" Even these last words were still hard for him. 

//Yes I need more time just to make things right// 

When they finally separated, Duo could not help but smile at Heero's unmasked face.. 

//So don't go away// 

fin~ 

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Kai: (*) sorry Wufei, you're here only for this alibi.. 

Wufei: I'm freezing, Woman! 

What about it? feedback please, critic, anything.. 

Edited by : MonMon, Thankssss ~^_^~ 


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